22 year old 5'0 Asian Libra

i am petrified with the fact that my 'About Me' section reduced to one sentence: 'a 22 year old 5'0 Asian Libra.' i would say the majority of the messages i get are regarding my ethnicity and ive gotten a couple of 'hola's' and 'asian babe/queen/etc.' i cant put myself on a dating website without my ethnicity being the central part of why people are attracted to me. im starting to wonder, is this just a low key extension of the real world? (just within a super concentrated, small biased sample of men who have specific personalities to be able to put themselves online in the first place). you dont see men in vancouver (maybe) yelling 'im only into short asian girls!!!!!' yet its okay to specify that in your 'About Me' on a dating website. i guess its because its such a simplified version of one's self that all you really do look at is the photo of the individual of which you would ignorantly rely on stereotypes.
my height is also a popular ice breaker, perhaps thats also related to stereotypes.

i had messaged one guy about photography and congratulated him on the many gigs he landed. i was thrown off by his reply: 'i dont usually go for asians, but you look pretty sexy. dont be discouraged haha.' what does that even mean. youre making an exception for me? im so happy i opened your mind --but i only date up front racists, dont be discouraged haha. asshole.

i almost threw up when i got a message from a 35 year old man who said: 'hi are you filipino? I'm a registered nurse, were you born in canada? would you like to go out for coffee?' and he messaged me numerous times after that over a few weeks with simple 'youre sexy' and 'please ill take you for dinner' messages --arrite dude, im sold. that amalgamation of stereotypical bullshit you just threw at me was just so completely relevant. stop it. youre creepy and i hate you.

'your name is armileen? what ethnicity is that?' 'lol its canadian.' #truestory

i always feel weird going back into the real world when i log off. i guess i still feel like i have that one sentence description strapped onto my back, its just never been actualized through words.

i put myself on the dating website out of boredom and for kicks. but as an anthropology and psychology student who is constantly analyzing people, it was just so rich with information that it turned into an uncontrolled social experiment (lol sorry #ethics). youre putting yourself up for sale. its not whoever is actually the most 'accomplished,' or 'best looking' (though very advantageous, as in any other context), but whoever can describe themselves in the most efficient manner --word choice is so key. the 'winners' are those whoever can transfer the best representation of one's self onto a different social platform (cue Erving Goffman). can you sell yourself in one message, successfully get a reply from the other party, and be able to carry on a smooth conversation. its essentially a test of ones interview skills and ability to hold a conversation through text.

i just deleted my account the other day to focus on finals because it seemed to be just an addictive escape from reality (also i was pimpin way too hard). it was a huge ego booster, got lots of lols, been in contact with super cool people, and ive never been so accepting of my height in my entire life. if there was one thing that ive taken away from this experience is that the value of my education and passion for photography and the fine arts simply just falls short from the value of my height. and that kinda sucks.